Robert

"The highlight of the evening"

--Better Homes and Gardens

"[...] easily the beau ideal among Wisconsin's multitudes of accomplished amateur lexicographers"

--The New York Review of Books

"Perhaps the personification of magniloquence"

--Cat Fancy

"[...] a shrieking, tumescent delight!"

--Gothic & Lolita Bible

"[Buchanan is] now an aureate vector for that most virulent strain of sensual Yellow Fever"

--Psychology Today

"Very good, very funny at party until we brought out dogs"

--Zladecz

I'm an author, lexicographer, cacophonist, ailurophile, bibliophile, cinephile, logophile, inveterate aggregator, dedicated middlebrow, incontestable babe, borderline narcissist, weirdly semi-Mediterranean prairie octoroon and alliterative anastrophe addict. My personality type is superlative INTJ.

Avocations & interests

• Ambulation
• Architecture & interior design
• Composition
• Cycling
• Ethnology
• Games:
  • Board games
  • Card games
  • Video games
• Graphic design
• Lexicography
• Linguistics
• Microeconomics
• Puzzles:
  • Crossword puzzles
  • Jigsaw puzzles
  • Tangram puzzles
  • Word-finder puzzles
• Organized crime
• Photography
• Reading
• Ukiyo-e

Favorites

Architects

• Antoni Gaudí

Authors

• Woody Allen
• Anthony Burgess
• William S. Burroughs
• Beverly Cleary
• Theodore Dalrymple
• H.P. Lovecraft
• Cormac McCarthy
• Edgar Allan Poe
• Dr. Seuss
• Hunter S. Thompson
• Voltaire

Cineastes

• Woody Allen
• Pedro Almodóvar
• Catherine Breillat
• John Carpenter
• Joel and Ethan Coen
• Terry Gilliam
• Alfred Hitchcock
• Shohei Imamura
• Alejandro Jodorowsky
• Stanley Kubrick
• Akira Kurosawa
• Kiyoshi Kurosawa
• Sergio Leone
• David Lynch
• Hayao Miyazaki
• Maurice Pialat
• Roman Polanski
• Éric Rohmer
• Jan Svankmajer

Comics creators & mangaka

• Sergio Aragonés
• Jean Giraud
• Narumi Kakinouchi and Toshihiro Hirano
• Frank Miller
• Masamune Shirow
• Bill Watterson

Composers

• Johann Sebastian Bach
• Angelo Badalamenti
• Béla Bartók
• Ludwig van Beethoven
• John Carpenter
• Frédéric Chopin
• Claude Debussy
• Franz Joseph Haydn
• Bernard Herrmann
• Kenji Kawai
• Koji Kondo
• Felix Mendelssohn
• Ennio Morricone
• Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
• Krzysztof Penderecki
• Sergei Prokofiev
• Maurice Ravel
• Domenico Scarlatti
• Franz Schubert
• Toru Takemitsu
• Antonio Vivaldi

Electronic musicians & cacophonists

• John Carpenter
• Depeche Mode
• Farmers Manual
• Kraftwerk
• Masonna
• Pan sonic

Folk music & musicians

• Ainu
• Catalan
• Flamenco
• Geinoh Yamashirogumi
• Kumidaiko
• Romanian
• Tarantellas

Humorists

• Best Brains
• Joe Bob Briggs
• Everything Is Terrible!
• Dante Fontana
• Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim
• Kipple
• James Lileks
• Dick Masterson
• Million Dollar Extreme
• Monty Python
• RiffTrax
• Peter Serafinowicz
• Soph
• Erik Wolpaw

Painters & engravers

• Saul Bass
• Salvador Dalí
• Albrecht Duerer
• H.R. Giger
• Yukio Kitta
• Pierre-Auguste Renoir
• Hajime Sorayama
• Frederic Soulacroix
• Kuniyoshi Utagawa
• Johannes Vermeer

Photographers

• Robert Mapplethorpe

Rhythm & blues singers

• James Brown
• Sam Cooke
• Marvin Gaye

Rockers

• The Beatles
• Frank Black
• David Bowie
• The Breeders
• The Cure
• The Doors
• Einstürzende Neubauten
• Joy Division
• My Bloody Valentine
• Roy Orbison
• Pink Floyd
• The Pixies
• The Ramones
• The Runaways
• The Smiths
• Spinal Tap

Sculptors

• Constantin Brancusi

Soloists

• Martha Argerich
• Vladimir Horowitz
• Arturo Benedetti Michelangeli
• Maurizio Pollini
• Ivo Pogorelic
• Sviatoslav Richter
• Leonard Rose
• Mstislav Rostropovich
• Mitsuko Uchida

Table games

• Battleship
• Checkers
• Connect Four
• Jenga
• Mahjong
• Monopoly
• Parcheesi
• Reversi/Othello
• Simon

Thespians

• Jacqueline Bisset
• Richard Burton
• Catherine Deneuve
• Gerard Depardieu
• Charles Durning
• Peter Falk
• Pam Grier
• Gene Hackman
• Rutger Hauer
• Isabelle Huppert
• Michael Keaton
• Jennifer Jason Leigh
• Jack Lemmon
• Janet Margolin
• Tatsuya Nakadai
• Paul Newman & Joanne Woodward
• Warren Oates
• Donald Pleasence
• Gena Rowlands
• George C. Scott
• Paul Sorvino
• Jean-Louis Trintignant
• Lee Van Cleef
• Nicol Williamson
• Natalie Wood

Video game designers

• Ed Logg
• Shigeru Miyamoto

See also...

...these books, these movies and these video games

Peeves

Architards

• Le Corbusier
• Frank Gehry
• Jean Nouvel

Fauxteurs

• Michael Bay
• Luc Besson
• Kenneth Branagh
• Roland Emmerich
• Spike Lee
• Gary Ross
• Kevin Smith
• Lars von Trier
• Joss Whedon

(sub-)Literary hacks

• Roger Ebert
• Stephenie Meyer
• Philip Roth
• J. K. Rowling
• John Scalzi
• Kurt Vonnegut

Miserable musicians

• Phil Collins
• Celine Dion
• Drake
• Duran Duran
• Electric Light Orchestra
• Matchbox Twenty
• John Mellencamp
• Rush
• Bruce Springsteen
• U2
• Kanye West

Online rookeries

• Amazon
• Apple
• Facebook
• Linkedin
• Quora
• Twitter

Social and ideological failures

• Animal abusers
• Censors
• Cultists & ideologues:
  • Evangelicals
  • Hippies
  • Hipsters
  • Marxists
  • MGTOW
  • National Socialists
  • Scientologists
  • Social justice warriors
  • Third-wave feminists
  • Vegans
• Fans:
  • Beatlemaniacs
  • Gridiron football fans
  • Joy Division's fans
  • Kanye West's sober fans
  • Michael Jackson's fans
• Fuckboys
• Milksops
• Philadelphians
• Surgical addicts
• Wastrels

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